A variety of things have happened this weekend, none of which were me getting a job. One of the main things that did happen was that I attended an immersive theatre event in London organised by Secret Cinema. This involved dressing up as a spy/sleuth/private detective/thing type guy and hanging out with other people dressed in a similar way. Some of these people were actors, some were not. It was set in the "International Zone" in post-war Vienna, policed by the French, Russian, British and American forces. The people we were with were in the black market, told by our leader (type guy) that if we did jobs for them we could get forged passports to work legally. It was genuinely insane. We were shepherded past Police, immigration (shouty Russians searched my bag) and into a giant warehouse converted into several floors owned by the different occupying forces. Actually being shouted at in Russian was quite unnerving, as was talking to a lot of the actors who seemed genuinely annoyed if you didn't speak their language. We got sucked in to a variety of different experiences, ranging from going to the cinema to having to throw a packet of something to a dancer on the floor above (I did nearly take her eye out but on the plus side I def. didn't look like I throw like a girl). I did earn my passport but I did then spend most of the evening trying to beg, borrow or steal a pen to fill it out with. By the time I did get a pen (gullible idiot bartender) the person who needed to stamp it had already been arrested. Soon after it turned out we were in the world of a film, which we then watched. I won't tell you what film it was because A. That would ruin it for people who were going B. I like to be pretentious and irritating. It turned out the film had mostly been acted out over the course of the evening, part of which we were involved in (people making phone calls, being given items to identify each other with etc.) and parts of which we weren't. I have missed out at least 80% of what happened because of A. and B. above. Also C. My hands are getting tired.
If this was not enough mayhem for one weekend, I also went to this Russian Art/Architecture thing.
But something more beautiful was created at the RAA that day. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you
ART SHOVE!!!
Players 2+
The aim of Art Shove!!! is to amass as many points as possible by shoving people in art galleries. Different results of a shove lead to different point rewards as detailed below.
1 Point - The basic shove - Contact is made, the shovee is moved by the impact.
2 Points - The steadier - The shovee is moved enough to take a step to steady themselves. +1 point for each steadying step taken.
3 Points - The leaner - The shovee has to lean on or touch the wall (NOT TOUCHING ART, SEE BELOW)
4 Points - The sleeping Lion - The shovee falls on the floor.
5 Points - First Contact - The shovee touches art as a result of the shove.
10 Points - Strike - You are asked to leave the exhibition
Auto-win - Banned from the museum/gallery for over a day
Auto-lose - using the safe word
These can also be mixed so if a player is shoved (1pt), then has to take 2 steadiers (+2+1), then makes first contact (+5) then the shover gets 9 points.
The rules of Art Shove!!! are as follows:
- All people who want to play must say they want to before entering the gallery, you must also create a safe word to use if you want out ie. "poodle"
- The game begins when you enter the gallery and ends when you leave (this is not reception shove)
- Hands cannot be used, just body shoves
- If someone uses the safe word they must leave the gallery instantly and are automatically disqualified
- 2 people to a shove
Enjoy!
Lessons learned
* I'm extremely substandard at illegal immigration
* When forced, I can't speak Russian
* I am willing to blind the innocent to prove I can throw
* Frauding passports gives me a stress headache
* I still need a job
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